friend sent me an email
said go see goatse.cx
me, like a dumbass goes

*page is loading*...

*page loads*

OMG

O.O

*screams*

the image...
it burns....

*proceeds to wash eyes*

*at the movies with grandparents to see 10000 bc.*
*previews*
*watches trailer*
Me: *sees dc comics logo* omg i hope its not another batman movie *flashes to batman* god damn it
Grandma: Language Ameerah
Me: I'm not Ameerah
Grandma: Ooops...
Me: *sigh*

stole from


Naruto
[ ] You're stubborn.
[x] You like ramen.
[x] Are foxes your favorite animal?
[x] You're afraid of ghosts.
[x] You're jealous of your best friend.
[x] Are you a hands-on kind of person?
[x] Do you have a crush on someone, who isn't interested in you?
[x] You want people to respect you.
[x] You never give up.
[x] Are you tan?
[ ] Were you born on the 10th of October? damn... 2 days off
Total: 9

Sasuke
[x] You don't care about other people or their opinions.
[ ] Are you left handed?
[x] You prefer being alone.
[ ] Are you cold, cruel or withdrawn?
[x] Are you talented?
[x]Have you had to work on your social skills?
[x] Do you practice your skills?
[ ] Do you have a motive in your life that you live for?
[x] Do you feel like you're cursed?
[ ] Were you born on the 23rd of July?
Total: 6

Sakura
[ ] You like the color pink. (after yellow, of course)
[x] Do you feel like something inside of you is ordering you?
[x] You and your friends have a crush on the same person. (once)
[x] You're smart.
[ ] You have a five-finger forehead. )
[ ] You usually repress your emotions.
[x] You insult people just to annoy them.
[x] You're aiming for a medical career. (once, before I know nothing about design graphic)
[ ] You grew long hair because of your crush.
[ ] Were you born on the 28th of March?
Total: 5

Kakashi
[x] You read romance novels.
[ ] You like to spend time in the fields.
[ ] Have you separated from some group?
[x] Is your personality hard to describe?
[x] Are you often late?
[ ] Do you like to use something that covers your mouth?
[ ] Do you use the sayings: "A black cat crossed my path..." or "I fell into a sewer..."?
[ ] Is one of your eyes a different color from your other one?
[ ] You only have one hobby.
[ ] Were you born on the 15th of September?
Total: 3

Itachi
[x] You like red and black.
[x] You wear purple nail polish.
[x] You paint your toenails.
[ ] You've been the leader in a group.
[ ] You're a lot more advanced than others in your age class.
[x] You're unforgiving at times.
[x] You judge people.
[x] You hang out with a certain crowd.
[x] You have a little brother.
[x] You dress in overly long clothes.
Total: 7

Gaara:
[x] You like sand.
[x] You couldn't care less.
[x] You're alone a lot of the time.
[ ] You've made some sort of a symbol of love on your skin.
[ ] Your name means death in Japanese.
[ ] You have one reason to live.
[] Your life has had a significant turn.
[ ] You have red hair.
[ ] Is you birthday on the 19th of January?
Total: 3

Lee
[x] You believe in hard work.
[ ] You're decisive.
[x] You have large eyes.
[x] You're a unique person.
[x] You've seriously decided to do something.
[x] You have a huge crush on someone.
[x] You have a person who you share a warm relationship with.
[ ] You have a black bowl-cut.
[ ] You've been in an accident where you were had little chance to survive.
[ ] You like green.
Total: 6

Jiraiya
[ ] You write and sell romance novels.
[x] Are you a pervert?
[ ] Do you like alcohol?
[ ] You're somewhat famous.
[ ] You have long/white hair.
[ ] Do you spy on people for some reason?
[ ] You're specialized in some field.
[ ] You're over 20.
[x] You're in some way great.
[ ] Do you have an ambiguous way of thinking?
Total: 2

Orochimaru
[ ] Are you pale?
[x] Do you like snakes?
[ ] Is one of your hobbies fencing?
[ ] Are you strong?
[ ] Are you sadistic, power-hungry and egoistic by nature?
[ ] Do you use people as pawns?
[x] Do you have a dream?
[ ] You don't feel empathy for other people.
[x] Do you lust for someone else's body?
[ ] Are you over 20?
Total:3

Tsunade
[ ] Do you like to play gambling games?
[ ] Do you like snails?
[ ] Do you have a pig/pigs at home?
[ ] Are you afraid of blood?
[ ] Do you have an object that you believe brings bad luck?
[ ] You're in the medical field.
[ ] You're dependent on something.
[ ] You're a blond.
[ ] Do you use rejuvenation creams?
[ ] Are you over 20?
Total: 0

Shikamaru
[x] Are you lazy?
[x] Are you intelligent?
[x] Is everything too troublesome for you?
[ ] You often play shogi.
[ ] You like shadows.
[x] You pretend to sleep a lot.
[ ] Your IQ is over 200.
[x] You wear a ponytail.
[x] You often use the saying "How troublesome" or something near it.
[ ] Is your birthday on the 23rd of September?
Total: 6

Shino
[ ] Do you like bugs?
[ ] You prefer eating salad.
[ ] You don't like tofu.
[ ] Your personality is quiet and mysterious.
[ ] You hate food with strong aromas.
[ ] Do you collect bugs?
[ ] Is your favorite saying "Trump card"?
[ ] Do you use sunglasses a lot?
[x] You don't tell much about yourself
[ ] Is your birthday on the 23rd of January? (mine is 25th, can it count?)
Total: 1

Hinata
[x] Are you extremely shy?
[x] Are you a bit insecure about yourself?
[x] Are you trying to improve some of your skills?
[x] Do you feel like your family doesn't appreciate you?
[x] Do you hate your cousin?
[x] Have you had a crush on someone for a long time now?
[x] Knowing someone has increased your self-confidence.
[x] You make some mistakes.
[ ] You have violet hair.
[ ] You don't give up easily.
Total: 8

Iruka
[ ] You have a scar on your face.
[x] You worry about other people.
[ ] Is your favorite word "believe"? (Hope is kind of like believing, right?)
[x] Do you like dolphins?
[x] You and your friend have a similar past.
[ ] You're kind by nature.
[ ] Is your hobby the hot springs?
[ ] Is you blood type B?
[x] Your favorite food is ramen.
[ ] Were you on on the 26th of May?
Total: 4

Neji
[ ] Are you an exceptional student at school
[ ] Are you frighteningly good at something? (well.. )
[ ] You're a genius. (hahahahahahahahahaaaa)
[ ] Your personality is confident and somewhat stiff.
[ ] You don't show your emotions.
[ ] You believe you cannot change destiny.
[x] Someone has influenced your way of thinking.
[ ] You do things seriously.
[x] Do you feel like you can see through people?
[ ] Do you come into terms with your cousins?
Total: 4

Kankurou
[x] You have two siblings. (acutally its more than 2 XP)
[x] You're tough by nature.
[ ] You afraid of your brother/sister.
[ ] You like to fix things.
[ ] Your hobby is puppets.
[ ] You like to paint your face.
[ ] You hang out with a lot with your brother/sister.
[ ] You don't talk much.
[ ] You use purple make up.
[ ] You have brown hair.
Total: 2

Totals~!!!
Naruto - 9
Sasuke - 6
Sakura - 5
Kakashi - 3
Itachi - 7
Gaara - 3
Lee - 6
Jiraiya - 2
Orochimaru - 3
Tsunade - 0
Shikamaru - 6
Shino - 1
Hinata - 8
Iruka - 4
Neji - 4
Kankurou - 2


I am Naruto's and Hinata's Love Child
i mean god damn

Meh Favorite Quotes
------

Harry knew he had to move. Channeling every bit of hate that consumed him he kicked up at Draco and struck a blow that gave reason to doubt for the future proliferation of the Malfoy bloodline.

------
Thirty minutes and several chocolate bars later, Remus had managed to calm Sirius down to the point where he wasn't going to attack Severus.

------
Less than three minutes later, May Black was left to sit on the carpeted floor of the apartment that she and Harry shared, a fork clutched tightly in one of her bony hands and her breath forced and ragged...Harry Potter was a little calmer in his demeanor, though not by much. He'd taken to pacing back and forth in front of her as she struggled to calm herself... Eventually he sighed, coming to a half and looking down at her with tired green eyes.
'You just had to lunge at him like that, didn't you?"
"Don't pretend like you didn't want to," was her curt reply. Harry rolled his eyes and continued pacing, his steps slower than before.
"Yeah, well, at least I had the sense to not throw myself across the table and try to stab him with a fork, now didn't I?"
"You wouldn't have had to. There wasn't a table between you and the door, anyway. And you didn't even have a fork. Speaking of which... should I give this back, or something?" She regarded the eating utensil in her hand with indifference.
"No, by all means, keep it as a trophy in which to commemorate your moment of rage," muttered Harry sarcastically.
"Don't think I won't," she responded coolly. "I'll make it into a victory necklace."
****
"This isn't funny," said Peter timidly. "A girl I don't even know just tried to attack me with a fork! That's not- hey, stop laughing, Sirius!"

------
"Not now of course idiot, like, whenever!" Ron replied waving a hand to illustrate inconsequence of the almost-proposal. "Not like it's such a big deal, we're already bonded. I just wanted to point out my distinct lack of desire to share a last name with that disgusting woman." He added, and his partner looked relieved.

"You know, I didn't notice until now, but Draco's really had a positive influence on Ron's vocabulary." Harry said in an aside to Severus, who simply laughed quietly.

------

"I still like the name Potter's army."

Harry groaned for the third time at the dinner table, rolling his eyes once more while Hermione just silently chuckled to herself. The group was currently eating after another hard day of work, Harry and Hermione at the head of the table, Luna and Ron at the other end, and the other three situated around the sides. Ron shook his head and stared at Luna, who had her usual blank stare on her face.

"Luna dear, I love you to pieces, but sometimes you can just be mental." Ron took a sip of butterbeer before continuing, "Potter's army sounds like a bunch of militant herbologists...no offense Neville."

"None taken,' Neville said with a cheery grin on his face. His gaze moved slightly towards Ginny, then back to his plate. Harry noticed the lingering moment, but said nothing.

------

I do know that there is a connection between us, mostly because it was your blood that helped give me this spiffy new body (sorry about that by the way)- Lord Voldemort

------

She was busy searching through one of the drawers, looking for a fresh one, when the faint sound of running water finally filtered into her consciousness. Harry was obviously still busy with his shower, undoubtedly trying to wash away his troubles before the day began.

And Luna had said she was going for a shower...

"GAH! LUNA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" came a panicked shout from the bathroom. It was muffled, but clearly Harry's voice, which was enough to confirm where Hermione's train of thought had been leading. "I'M IN THE SHOWER!"

"I know," Luna's voice replied, rather loudly, "Do you mind if I join you? I'll scrub your back if you like."

Hermione froze in place as the realization of exactly what was happening hit her. The next instant she bolted out of the bedroom and made a wild dash towards the bathroom next door.

"What's going on?" she heard a bleary and only half awake Neville ask. "Death Eaters attacking?"

"No," replied Ron, who was regarding the bathroom with a broad and somewhat lecherous grin. "It's just Luna trying to jump Harry in the shower."

"Oh, okay," Neville accepted. He was just about to drop his head down and go back to sleep when Ron's words sunk in properly. He was suddenly wild awake and jolted up to ask, "What!"

To her relief, Hermione found that the door to the bathroom was not locked. Muttering a brief thanks to whatever gods were smiling down on her for that, she flung the door open. She burst inside, almost slipping on the smooth floor tiles, and looked about frantically in search of her wayward friend.

"Luna Lovegood!" she yelled, spotting Luna's discarded towel folded neatly on the sink. She turned to the shower stall and yanked the sliding frosted glass door open. She immediately began to berate Luna, but quickly trailed off at the sight before her. "What do you... think... you're... do... ing..."

Luna had joined Harry in the shower, just as she had said she would. She stood under the spray, surrounded by rising clouds of steam, humming away happily (Weasley is our king) as she lathered up - completely unconcerned about her nudity. Or Harry's.

Harry, on the other hand, was practically climbing up the shower wall in an attempt to put as much distance between Luna and himself. It was not working all that well. This was mostly due to the fact that the shower stall was rather snug, as was everything in the flat, and thus Harry did not have that much space to manoeuvre in.

"Hello Hermione," Luna said in greeting. She seemed entirely unconcerned about the fact that she was starkers and standing less than two feet away from Hermione's equally naked boyfriend. She smiled lazily, the stream of water from the showerhead plastering her long blonde hair to her head, and asked, "Changed your mind and decided to join us?"

Hermione's thoughts, however, had been completely derailed by the sight of a naked Harry. He was pressed up against one corner of the shower stall, trying desperately to cover his nether regions with both hands. Apparently, even though he had no real interest in the younger witch, Luna's state of undress and close proximity had been enough to have an involuntary effect on his... male attributes.

Unable to help noticing that her nominal boyfriend was somewhat larger than she had imagined, Hermione found herself staring at Harry in a daze. Despite a sudden feeling of intimidation, it was all she could do not to lick her lips.

He looked at her and pleaded in a squeaky voice, "Help?"

------

"Read any good books, Harry?" James asked as he spooned himself some soup, interrupting Harry from his spoon-examination. (He'd been on a spork-only rule for a week now--but now he had a spoon! Oh happy day!) Harry stared at his father.

------
Finding himself alone, Harry decided to give Lucius a little surprise. With a grin, he slipped upstairs and into Lucius room.

Twenty minutes later, a loud scream of pure terror echoed throughout the house.

'What is that human screeching about?' Nellie asked after coming awake with a start.

'Oh, he's probably just discovered the paper mache head of Voldemort I left on his bed,' Harry responded with a maniacal laugh, leaning back in his chair, lacing his fingers behind his head and training his eyes on the open door to his study.

------

Several people traded glances. Before anyone could say anything, though, an explosion was dimly audible through the Silencer on the curtains.

"That sounds interesting," said Harry, getting up quickly and pulling the curtains open.

Fred and George, both a bit scorched, were attempting to appear innocent in front of a rather irate-looking Danger. Small bits of plastic and metal littered the kitchen, which had a smell of smoke about it.

Harry gulped and closed the curtains again quickly.

They were yanked back open almost immediately.

"You will now tell me why there was still a button marked 'Explode' on my blender,"said Danger sharply, snagging one of Harry's wrists and pulling him into the kitchen.

"Thanks a lot,"Harry muttered to Fred and George out of the corner of his mouth


------

Professor Snape's 10 Rules for Teaching

1. Education through intimidation...it's the only way.

2. Children should be seen; not heard...anyone heard will receive detention.

3. Do not speak unless called upon...and don't bother to raise your hand for I shan't call upon you.

4. The teacher is always right...if you don't believe me, just ask me.

5. If you don't agree with the grade given...tough it's non-negotiable.

6. Criticisms will be graded and appropriate points deducted.

7. Unacceptable essays will be used for lining owl cages.

8. Extra credit to bring up your grade? You've got to be joking!

9. Botched potions will be fed to the brewer so be careful how you brew.

10. Any complaints should be directed to my superior...oh wait, I have no superior.

------
'He was pondering Healer Stanhope's words about his MaRI test results when he started counting out loud again. Their volleys set off another set of geysers each time he counted. Evidently Ron had been trying to say something because he suddenly grabbed Harry's shoulder. Startled, Harry accidentally pushed all his magic down his arm into the outstretched wand.

The wood bucked hard in Harry's grip and the light that flew toward the lake seemed to be almost a solid mass. There was a loud thump as a column of water two feet wide and over thirty feet tall exploded upward from the surface of the lake. Harry barely had time to close his eyes before they were drenched with cold, fishy-smelling water. Someone let out a squeal and he was sure he heard a fairly vile curse or two.

When he'd knuckled the muddy water out of his eyes, Harry saw stunned fish begin floating belly up in the agitated water. He turned toward Ron, who was blinking rapidly. Hermione looked shocked, but Ginny was red-faced from holding back either laughter or tears.

Ron finally found his voice. "I was going to ask if we were about done. I wanted to make sure I had time to take a shower before breakfast."

"I think Harry saved you some time there," Ginny said before she sank to her knees, laughing uproariously.'

------

'Snape was standing in the middle of the Great Hall, arms raised in the air in ecstatic rapture, wearing a flowing white robe that was billowing in the wind. "It's a miracle!" he was proclaiming. "A Potter that hasn't gotten in trouble or attempted to get himself killed in over two weeks! I have become a believer!" He dropped to his knees, tears running down his cheeks in rivulets, announcing to the full population of Hogwarts, "There is a higher power! I will become a benevolent soul! No more shall I wear black and torment innocent children! My mission in life now is promote peace, happiness, and above all LOVE!"'

------

'Rather, he made one wish that the dark arts would just kill you and kill you mercifully.

He could already imagine the scene in his head...

"Voldemort! Hey, Voldemort! Over here!"
"Potter! Why are you here?! Ah...so you've finally realized that it's impossible to defeat me? Well, I'm sure you'll find your peace in death!"
"Great!"
"...What?"
"Wonderful. You see that's exactly why I came here."
"You...came here...to die? That's it? No fight, no witty retorts, nothing?"
"Yep!"
"...You've gone mad, haven't you?"
"Nah, Tommy my boy. I was just suffering from boredom in practically all my classes. So! Ever done a mercy killing?"

...That'd actually be funny, really.'

------

'But he must admit that if Voldemort did manage to infiltrate and take over the school, and the Headmaster's office was the last defense for the ancient professor, he could not imagine the ever "cheerful" Dark Lord standing in front of that horrendous gargoyle trying out candy names.
///
"Snickers?"
"Is that a candy name, milord?"
"Silence, minion! Hmm...Skittles?"
"Forgive me, my Lord, but what are you saying?"
"What did I say about shutting up?!"
"Yes, my lord."
"...I've got it! ALMOND JOY!"
"...Sir, I don't think that was it... maybe it's Smarties?"
"That's it! Avada Kedavra! ... Now back to the matter at - damn it, it was Smarties!"'

------

"What do you want, freak?" the beefy man asked petulantly.

"Oh, the world, for one." Harry replied playfully. "You lot cowering at my feet. Certain people's heads on pikes. A blood bank to spontaneously open next door. Socks for Christmas. My photo album which now technically never existed full of pictures of people losing bets; Severus doing twirls in the red and gold tutu most notably. To see a random Death Eater attempt to breach the wards by running at them really fast. Quirrel to drop dead of testicle rot before I begin school and Lockhart to be mauled savagely by angry pixies. Oh, how ironic that would be."

------

Vernon whirled on his son and stuck a finger in his face. "Don't you whine at me!" Then, turning to Harry, he shouted, "You! Upstairs! Now!"
Harry blinked a few times at hearing Vernon shout at his son before shrugging and standing up. "Fine." he replied nonplused. "I've got something to set ablaze anyway."

------

"Aunt Petunia has to add a special powder to my food and I don't know what it is."
"A powder?" she asked, looking slightly confused.
"Yes," Harry replied, looking as innocent as a newborn kitten. "She started adding it after I turned six and ate the dog."

------

It was during dinner in the Great Hall that the barn owl had swooped in, dropped the red letter on the headmaster's meat loaf and flew out again. Everyone, teachers and students alike, watched in shock as the old wizard picked it up and opened it, still smiling serenely. The smile and twinkle all but vanished as the woman's shrill, amplified voice cut through the silence, ringing through the Hall and echoing up into the castle through the open doors.
"YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY NEPHEW! IF YOU EVEN THINK OF COMING NEAR US, I'LL BURN YOUR EYES OUT WITH LAUNDRY DETERGENT! DON'T THINK YOU CAN THREATEN ME EITHER! I'LL SHOW YOU JUST HOW DANGEROUS A PISSED OFF MUGGLE WOMAN CAN BE! EVER BEEN BEATEN OVER THE HEAD WITH A RED HOT FRYING PAN? IF YOU PUT SO MUCH AS A TOE WITHIN OUR VILLAGE, I'LL TAKE HIM AND MOVE TO ICELAND AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN! I'LL REPORT YOU TO THE MINISTRY FOR STALKING, HARASSMENT AND MOLESTATION! I'LL TELL EVERYONE ABOUT YOUR GOAT LOVING BROTHER AND WHAT HIS INAPPROPRIATE CHARMS REALLY WERE! I'LL ENROLL HIM IN DURMSTRANG! STAY OUT OF OUR LIVES! Oh, and for the students: DUMBLEDORE WAS A SLYTHERIN!"
The letter then blew him a raspberry and tore itself to shreds.

------

Slowly, ever so slowly, he drew up the sleeve of his left arm, revealing the much hated sign of the Dark Lord.
"Jon...tell me that's ink, you've just come from an undercover mission and you're going to go upstairs and wash it off now."
"Can't." he muttered. "Took a vow not to lie to you." He took a deep breath, unable to meet her gaze anymore. "I've become a Death Eater."
"JONATHAN ALEXANDER MICHAELS!" she screeched angrily. "I'M GOING TO EVISCERATE YOU! WHAT, IN MERLIN'S NAME, HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?"
He cringed back in his seat. Give him Dark Lords over an angry wife any day.

------

A happy howl of triumphant laughter filled the levels of the First City.
Gabriel looked up from where he was boredly filling away at his nails. He raised an eyebrow and asked absently, "What's got his hackles up?"
Jacob shrugged and Anai ignored it as usual. With a shrug of his own, he went back to work shaping his nails to perfection before reaching for a bottle of peach nail polish. Hey, a vampire's gotta have a hobby.

------

"No." he said thoughtfully. "I'd have to say Fate is a big guy in leather on a Harley fresh out of prison and he wants me as his bitch."
"Oh, what a pleasant thought." Lucius quipped. "Then we can send Fate back to prison for pedophilia and make our own destiny."

------

Harry nodded, looking at the two vampires on the floor with a questioning gaze.
"They wanted to teach me respect," Lucius replied easily, stowing his wand away.

------

"I apologize for our lateness," Malak said as he threw his cloak over the back of his chair and took a seat across from Harry. "An idiot with one eye tried to pick a fight with Jacob."
Harry exchanged glances with Lucius before looking back at the tall, broad shouldered redhead who had a sour look on his face. He snorted with suppressed laughter and shook his head in amusement. "It's just not his night."

------

Lucius shifted uncomfortably again as the vampire flicked long black hair over his shoulder and winked at him suggestively.
"Sweet Merlin, Gabe! Stop flirting with everything with a pulse!" Jacob cried in exasperation, rolling his eyes dramatically.

------

"Don't bother," a man's voice growled, interrupting the frantic pounding. "It's charmed against intrusion."

"Well, what do you suggest then?" Minerva shot back and only silence answered. The pounding resumed. "Albus! Let us in!" A brief moment's pause. "There's chaos in the Great Hall!" Another pause. "There are Weasleys loose in the dungeons!" No response. "The house-elves have gone on strike!" Still no response. "They're getting drunk and turning each other into llamas!"

A quiet chuckle from her companion. "Llamas?"

"Be quite, Severus!" she snapped angrily. The headmaster was in for it when she finally got in there. "I need to talk to you, damn it! Let me in!" Oh boy, was he in for it. She was swearing now.

"Let him pout." Severus countered with a verbal shrug. "I've got a potion that'll melt the door off it's hinges, wards and all."

Fawkes let out an angry squawk and Albus' head shot up. "No!" he yelled frantically. "That door was charmed and warded by Godric Gryffindor himself!" If he let Severus melt it, he'd be bird food!

------

"Look at you!" he (Sirius) exclaimed, kneeling down and looking the boy over. "Where's that little boy who pissed on me the first time I tried to change his diaper?"

------

'Yes!' it cried happily. 'Over here! Me! Pick me! Take me! Get me out! Pet me! You know you want me! Look! I'm a pretty snake!' It then did the strangest thing he had ever seen a snake do. It rolled along the bottom of the tank as if it were having a seizure, writhing back and forth and whiping it's body around so much it knocked over the fake tree and collapsed a wooden enclosure.

"Ah, you don't want that one." the store clerk insisted, noticing his attention and shaking her head sadly. "Touched in the head, it is."

------

One of the enormous unbreakable bubbles had apparantly broken free from the ceiling and begun bouncing around the room. Rabastan, Rodolphus, Lucius and Lionel had not noticed and, as the bubble bounced it's way across the room, it landed right on top of Lucius. However, as it was unbreakable, it didn't pop. Instead, it sucked the man up and continued on it's merry way. The Malfoy lord looked absolutely gobsmacked as he bounced, head over tail, across the room, splayed eagle in the supposedly inpenetrable bubble.

------

Forced to dance with his (Rodolphus' brother by the three women to sate their voyeuristic desires, he was happy to be a gay incestuous show for them if it meant getting away from Lavinia. Rabastan found himself in a similar situation and quickly agreed if it meant escaping the black widow who seemed to have targeted him, a certain Adeline Zabini who's husband was still mysteriously absent.

------

Rabastan had never been so embarrassed in his entire life. Not since that time in school when Rodolphus had hidden a sex toy under his bed and pretended to "find" and present it to the entire fifth year dorm.

------

"Perhaps," the Ravenclaw boy speculated, "it is indicative of a coterie or camarilla of sorts, as the simple white masks are of the more plebeian Death Eaters."

They all stared at him blankly.

He sighed in resignation. "Silver masks for the Inner Circle. White masks for the grunts." Murmurs of "oh!" answered him. He shook his head in pity at his pathetically under educated friends.

------

"That's just because I was in Azkaban or busy shagging Remus into the mattress!"

A voice was cleared and from the doors came a deceptively calm, "Who was shagging whom?"

Sirius froze like the proverbial deer in the headlights. He glanced over at his unamused mate, then back to Lucius.

"Like I said," he said with a totally straight face. "Remus was busy shagging me into the mattress."

------


Harry raised his head and thumped it back down on the table hard.

'uppy's a masochist,' a happy voice chirped from around his neck.

Harry looked at her in disbelief. 'Where are you learning these words?'

------

With that, he pushed aside Draco and reached past a shaking Eleanor to grab Harry by the shoulder.

Only to recoil in shock and pain as a fine dust that smelled strongly of lemons was thrown into his face. He reeled back with a howl of pain, scrubbing frantically at his eyes. Half a dozen heads turned to see a livid Petunia with one hand on her hip and the other holding a bright yellow box labeled Martha's Non-Magical Mess Remover for Muggles and Their Clothing.

"I told you," she scolded, shaking a finger at Dumbledore like he was an unruly child. "I told you, didn't I? It's your own fault! I told you that if you set foot in this village I'd burn your eyes out with laundry detergent! I warned you to leave my nephew alone and now look what's happened! You really brought this on yourself. Now scoot, before the Aurors arrive!"

------

"What?" Dumbledore asked, looking stunned. "I'm Albus Dumbledore."

"Please don't make us shackle you, sir." (the Auror replied)

Harry burst into laughter as a thoroughly befuddled Dumbledore was led away.

------

March third, Severus Snape was in the middle of teaching his second year Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff class. No cauldron's had exploded, no one had back talked him and one Hufflepuff had cried when he vanished her potion, insulted her and gave her a detention. All in all, it had been a pretty decent class so far.

------

...the voice thanked them, wished them a good day and a silver badge dropped down. Dolohov picked it up in wonder and read it aloud. "Death Eaters. Here to kill you." He blinked at Lucius from behind his mask. "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle."

------

Outside, twelve other black cloaked individuals waited their turn. As the other six started the decent into the Ministry, one turned to another.

"Hey, Rody," he asked his brother with a grin. "How many Death Eaters can you fit into a phone box?"

-----------

'Ron nodded, and Harry turned back to Remus, who was frowning in confusion. "We have a friend," he explained, "who is just a bit mad about her grades."

"Just a bit," George added.

"Like Hagrid's just a bit large," Fred chimed in.'

IMMATURITY TEST PLZ 8D

[ ] You have eaten fish food.
[ ] You have eaten dog food.
[ ] You have eaten cat food.
[x] You have run into a glass door. ((More than once, and even on the same day))
[ ] You have eaten an ant.
[x] You have eaten grass. ((You can add it to your Jamba Juice too!))
[x] You have licked a tree.
[x] You have polka dotted underwear. ((It came in a package!))
[x] You have pink underwear. ((What? *confused stare*))
[x] You had contests with your friends to see who can create the loudest burp. ((i won!!))
[x] You have screamed a random word in public.
[x] You wave at people you don't know.
[x] You have flushed the toilet because you were bored.
[x] You have slapped yourself out of boredom. ((And pinched, and doodled on my own skin))
[ ] You sing the "FUN" song.
[x] You hold conversations with a pillow, blanket, stuffed animal etc. ((I have stuffed animal puppets I've played "Therapist" too as well!))
[ ] You dream of llamas coming out of peoples' butts
[ ] You think people who eat brains are cool. ((In Mexico, it's a delicacy to eat Cow brains))
[x] You sing karaoke even though you know you're horrible. ((You kidding, I own my own karaoke machine!))
[ ] You know how to spell "supercallafragalisticespialadosious" by heart. ((are you fucking insane))
[ ] You make up your own words and use them with people who have no clue what they mean.
[ ] You have a new haircolor every 5-7 months.
[ ] you have striped socks and you have wore them so people can see them.
[x] You have hugged a random person. ((I thought it was someone I knew...and afterwards we were friends for a while, so something good came out of it!))
[ ] You have ran up+down the stairs cuz u were bored. ((Excersise? Bah! x_x ))
[x] You have created a puppet show with your socks out of boredom. ((Socks? We don't need no stinkin' socks!))
[ ]You have imagined people saying "bla" and blowing up.
[x] You just tried imagining people saying "bla" and blowing up. ((how can you not?))
[x] You are addicted to the Anamaniacs themesong. ((I own seasons 1 and 2!))
[x] You are addicted to "The Pinky and the Brain" theme song. ((Narf!!))
[x] You have stared at your ceiling for over 10 minutes. ((And not while I'm emo either!))
[x] You talk to yourself. ((Yeah, but I'm so borring that I ignore myself quite often.))
[x] You have conversations with your imaginary friends. ((They owe me money too!))

multiply by 3 then type "im ----% immature"

I'm 60% Immature.
and 40% insane!